Jeff Strand Guest Post. The top 3 moments in his life that he would create an alternate version for!
In A Bad Day For Voodoo, the narrator, Tyler Churchill rewinds a scene in the book to feature a more dramatic alternate version. Find out the top three moments Jeff would rewind and create and alternate version for in his life.
1. My birth. Aside from the whole "miracle of birth" thing, there was nothing really dramatic about it. I mean, yeah, my mom thought it hurt and I was crying and somebody was going "Push! Push!" but for this moment to really have dramatic impact I should have come out singing "Born This Way" by Lady Gaga. Then doctors would have been screaming "This child is unnatural! Destroy it! Destroy it!" but my dad would have stopped them from squishing me between the defibrillator paddles. After fleeing the hospital, my parents would have tried to get me to sing so they could make millions from the miracle singing baby, but I would've been like the frog in the cartoon and ONLY sang when there were no other witnesses around. Ha!
2. That one time in high school when I broke my arm. Here is how I broke my arm: I was playing soccer, and I ran at this guy who had the ball, and we collided, and I hit the ground. Crunch. The thing is, soccer is primarily known as a sport you play with your feet. I mean, they even call it football in other countries. So when you tell people that you broke your arm playing soccer, they're all like "Huh? What? How do you break your arm playing soccer?" It's embarrassing. If I could rewind, I could have broken my arm in a sport where you actually use your arms, like bowling.
3. Writing this guest blog entry. I'm writing this on my back porch. My cat is asleep. None of my opponents have made a move in Words With Friends for the past half hour. Yaaawwwwwn. If I could rewind, one of my opponents would have played a really lame word, like IT, but then I'd use their "I" and play QUIZ, where Q was on a Triple Letter Score and Z was on a Triple Word Score, so I'd get 129 points and even if they had the J and the X they'd never beat me! Ooooh, such glorious drama!
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